Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
