She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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