Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I could make wine with my vomit
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
