That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
