Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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