ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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