My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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