I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
