I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
