I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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