i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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