I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
