Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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