Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
