My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
