Screwed.edu
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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