Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
