okay pat passed out under dana's car
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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