I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
