i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My vagina just clenched in fear
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
