Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
