when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Randomize
