Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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