people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
