He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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