Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize