I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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