I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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