How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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