i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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