My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
