Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
