I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
