The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
