I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
