found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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