forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's Friday. Sex?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize