just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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