sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
