I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
