I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What a dumb baby whore.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
