Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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