if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
