Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
