I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
