just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize