I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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