I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
