just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
