If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
