why didn't you poke me back
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
