I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
