Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
