i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
