i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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