just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
