She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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