No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
