i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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