How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
