whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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