I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
