I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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