Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
