let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
