is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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