elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
