just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
