My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
