i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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