i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
