don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
