awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
