I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
this hospital has no fireball
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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