woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
